I EXIST…LiFe as it is…

There are reasons behind all things, I know. Manytimes I drifted apart from being who I really am yet I hold on to the ideals of what I believe is true. Hoping things will get better if I’ll simply ignore the negative aspects in life. Maybe I was wrong or maybe I am really right. Choosing the right things to do sometimes doesn’t lead us to where we really want to be. In life, we usually gamble, take risks, have choices but I am pretty sure nobody wants FAILURE. 

When I chose to leave my family and friends, forego my exciting career and give up my single life to the man I am with now, it was MY CHOICE! I think, I wasn’t that young yet not old enough to get marry though. I guess that was such a tremendous feeling. YES, it was a choice that I’ve pondered upon several times. I would definitely hear people saying, when LOVE is involved, “ALWAYS USE YOUR HEAD” and so I did!

From where I am now, most of the time I would ask myself, “did I really made the right choice?” For the many things that already happened, things aren’t the same anymore. I am not the same person, I used to be. My perception changed, same goes with my feelings. Now I believe, A WOUND THAT NEVER HEALS changes FEELINGS, PERCEPTION AND BELIEFS.

It’s hurting to say and know that no matter how and what I do now, I couldn’t get back to my old self anymore, I just couldn’t! I want to be who I was. I want to be as happy as I was. I still have my dreams with me. My dreams of what I wanted to be.  But I think, there’s no more time for me to look back again & again, I think…I’ll just START FROM WHERE I AM NOW!

I’m sorry…my heart ached too much, dying to do what I want to do. Again, I’m making a choice… This time…I’LL FOLLOW MY HEART.